Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
