those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
