Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Sober January is a disaster.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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