I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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