guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
two words...techno handjob
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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