do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
