wakey wakey hands off snakey
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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