Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
