Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Less talking, more tequila
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
