how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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