So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
