Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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