he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
