sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
3 2 1 whiskey
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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