Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't want my vagina anymore.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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