the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
