I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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