Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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