His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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