id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
