Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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