This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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