carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
