So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
