does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
