dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Do vagina's smell?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
