i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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