i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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