so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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