Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
