I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize