Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
3 2 1 whiskey
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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