Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
