hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
