i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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