my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
