my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
