am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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