I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
im six kinds of drunk right now
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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