I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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