i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
