like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
