I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My vagina just clenched in fear
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
