the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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