Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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