Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
