My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
