i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
