you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
