i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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