i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
