Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize