Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
