And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
