Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
