using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
