yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
someone owes me an orgasm
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
